This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
