All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
