what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
