we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
