she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
