You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
