You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
