It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
