I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Damn victory sex feels great
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
