saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
