does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
