Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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