i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
