Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
