can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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