similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
