We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
