At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
