come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
