my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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