i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
