There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
