As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
