He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
