Tell her she can't have a vagina
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
