Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
no, he came in my armpit
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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