This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
