But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I cockslap morals
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm sobbing to NWA
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
