She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
