Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
