Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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