Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
