I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
