I heard we made out
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
