We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
