Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Then you guys just all showered together...?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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