youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
