I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
