Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
