I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
