Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I need water and some morals
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
