garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You need Xanax blowdarts
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
