stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
