Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
