She went from zero to smokin in five shots
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We had to coat check the pizza.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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