marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
