Do vagina's smell?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
