a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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