last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I intend to get homeless drunk
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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