she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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