Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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