And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
